Wrath of the Titans
Hollywood’s favourite beefcake Sam Worthington is back tearing up the big screen in Wrath of the Titans.
Sky Movies was challenged to live the Godly dream and get as buff as a Titan-killer in a mere 20 days – it was a challenge….
As proud purveyors of all things movies, we tend to spend a lot of time sat on our backsides watching them.
Or, more accurately, splayed halfway across the sofa and/or cinema lounge chair, popcorn and fizzy drink in hand.
Suffice to say, the closest thing we’ve got to a six pack or bench presses is lifting beer out of the fridge.
But with Wrath of the Titans only weeks away (released nationwide Friday 30th March), we were challenged to getting a ‘body like a Titan’, courtesy of Soho Gyms, personal trainer extraordinaire Joe Latham, and Bio Synergy. Matt Risley (@spliggle) investigates….
In a mere four weeks we’re going to aim to go from this:
We apologise to your eyes in advance.
Even his armour has abs.
After a brief health check, Joe confidently dismissed my assertions that I was "weaker than a girl scout" and went about getting my vital (and flabby) measurements.
Height: 187cm Weight: 92.30kg Waist: 95cm Hip: 97cm Body fat: 15.9% fat Weight: 14.7kg Lean Weight: 77.6kg BMI: 27 Waist to Hip: 0.97
While far from ‘Jack Nicholson Moobs’ territory, I’m still far from sculpted, and there’s a lot we can do should I manage to replace doughballs with dumbbells (that is, as long as I keep my rather sizeable expectations in check).
No amount of sit-ups – or plastic surgery – will ever make me look like this.
With three muscle-based Joe-workouts and two solo cardio sessions a week, we’re aiming to build muscle mass and slim down the Muffin Top.
One week down and I’ve already performed more press-ups than I’ve managed in my entire adult life. and thanks to Joe’s refreshingly normal approach to training (i.e., common sense and genuine encouragement instead of SCREAMING IN YOUR FACE) I’m leaving every session a trembling, sweaty but happy mess.
It’s all fun and games until your biceps implode.
Sweat patches and ‘quadruple chin’ Kodak moments aside, my first training session with Joe was relatively dignified.
So when he cheerily mentioned that a lot of his clients tend to send him abuse via Skype/Text/Screaming in his face, I passed it off as the psychotic abuse of the lesser willed.
So you can understand why I’m a little ashamed that I’m currently writing this in tandem with sticking together a Se7en-esque letter made up of newspaper clippings.
My second week of training sessions was brutal. I know I’m supposed to be after getting a ‘Body like A God’, but no-one said it was going to involve all this effort and weights and stuff.
Monday sessions are spent focusing on bench presses, bicep curls and the blood-vessel bursting joy that are Vipr Twists and Crunches (using a piece of kit that looks like a Gladiator q-tip, but is heavy, versatile and evil enough to have you crying into your newly sculpted abs).
Wednesdays – also known as Weepdays – focus on pretty much everything your average, muscle-less movie nerd dreads – press-ups, TRX Rows (fancy pull-ups courtesy of a piece of suspension kit designed by a Navy SEAL stuck in the jungle without any gym equipment), and shoulder presses (FYI – I haven’t lifted anything heavier than a cheesecake slice over my head in years).
Finally, Fridays are chest, back and shoulder weights again, with an added dose of Vipr cardio/weights moves thrown in for good, exhausting measure.
Cake is banned. Boo.
While I’m not quite at the ‘waking up at 3am to chug a protein shake’ stage of my ‘get a body like a movie star’ training, I’ve made a conscious effort to reduce the amount of sugar and cakes I usually ingest, and while I’ve reduced my carb intake, Joe stresses it’s important to replace them with something else (like vegetables) as opposed to just cutting a foodstuff out your diet completely.
All up, I’m knackered but of a far better mental and physical state then two weeks ago. Whether I manage to nail the body of a Titan is anyone’s guess.
And so we come to cardio. But not quite as you know it.
Considering I’m trying to build muscle while slimming down my muffin top, it’s less a case of 10km runs and more a case of mixing up the weights routines to include more sweat (and swear) inducing manicness.
My Vipr routines are stitched together and ramped up, meaning I’m doing more in each session and at a quicker pace.
I’ve also been scoffing an array of muscle-building, fat-reducing pills courtesy of Bio Synergy (Like them on Facebook here), which has helped sculpt my body into something vaguely healthy-looking.
Spot the difference.
While my weight isn’t exactly dropping off, it looks like my moobs are at least getting musclier (which weighs more than fat, fact/denial fans) – and with only a week to go, the weight limits I’m lifting are slowly going up.
Seven days to go…..
Any hopes I’d had of a casual, easy-going final week went out the window as soon as Joe decided to stitch three previous exercises into one relentless one. Times each of those by four and I was sufficiently knackered by the end of each cycle.
Ingeniously/sadistically (depending on how you look at things), whenever I reached breaking point on the machine weights, he’d simply lower the weight I was lifting and asked me to continue. this is both evil and apparently very beneficial.
There are muscles there – if you squint.
To complete the *cough* ‘God’ *cough* look, I was even treated to a full-on wax and tanning routine. while I can’t deny the ability to actually see my hereto-hair-disguised chest was a bonus, I’m fairly sure that the Ancient Grecians didn’t have a beauty regime. On the other hand, it’s not like you’ll going to watch Wrath of the Titans expecting pasty, flabby hair-monsters either.
Here are the final stats…..
Height: 187cm Incredibly, still 187cm Weight: 92.30kg 91.30kg Waist: 95cm 94cm Hip: 97cm 94cm Body fat: 15.9% 14.8% fat Weight: 14.7kg 13.6kg Lean Muscle: 77.6kg 78.1kg BMI: 27 26.8
After a mere 20 days of exercise, I’d managed to lower my fat content, drop centimetres from my waist and actually develop some form of shoulder/arm/chest muscle.
I may not be Sam Worthington-standard of beefcakeiness, but I’m sure that when compared ot hte original pictures above, it’s safe to say the Wrath of the Titans Workout was a Mission Successful.Going up against a personal trainer with guns the size of my head was never going to be a good idea.
But really, as with anything else, the proof is in the before and after pudding…..
READ OUR WRATH OF THE TITANS REVIEW HERE….